A Million Moments (Without Me)

The winds that blow
That give you an angel’s kiss
The pure white snow
That falls on your finger tips

The warmth you feel
stepping from the cold to the sun
The comfort you feel
Waking to the cooking of your mum

The way your heart soars
When birds sing at the window
The cool you feel when
Stepping from the sun to the shadow

I wish you a million moments
Like this in your life and more
And i cannot feel them with you
Because you deserve so much more

You deserve to be awed by love
Like a child beholding the sea
I want you to fear to touch it
Should it burst like a bubble in the wind

And when you hold it for the first time
ever so preciously
I want it to fall to place in your heart
Like a feather so gently

And raising waves of emotions
Like a soft storm hitting the sea
It should leave you breathless,
Your heart and mind at peace

These moments of happiness
You will never feel with me
So hug me one last time
and bid goodbye to me

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Different

In the crowded diner
Amid the joy and cheer
I feel ever so distant
I don’t belong here
They sway to the music
As if it is indeed
Remedy to heart’s troubles
Like music is peace
Some shake with laughter
Others wine and dine
I sit in a corner
Away from the lime light

The lights cast shadows
Across my troubled face
And so nobody sees me
In an isolated place

On a wall of ordered bricks
I’m the one poking out
When everyone goes silent
I’m the one who shouts
When everyone is hugging
I’m the one shaking hands
When the world is walking straight
I’m the lonely crab

Definition of Love

You are the wind
Playing with my hair
You are the clouds
Up in the air
You are the calm
and peaceful night
The dew vanishing
with the light

My ever present
Too far to touch
My never present, yet
too close for comfort
My all evasive
yet always close
Ephemeral love
My perfect love

I want to enjoy you
But then I want you
and when I want you
I can never have you
I want to define you
What I feel for you

You are my definition of love
The evasive presence of love

Fireworks

Oh my God

Look at that smile

My heart sings

When his eyes smile

I’m blown away

By his eyes

I drown in the chocolate

Depths of his eyes

His makes me trip

Over my own feet

I get drunk on his scent

He makes me shiver at the knees

What a man!

Oh, what perfection

My blissful high

Forbidden addiction

I want to pull him to me

Hip to hip

And feel his breath on me

Lip to lip

And my heart thunders

Ready to burst

He will never know

Of the fireworks

Lonely Lovers Paradise

The waves they play
against the shore
At times with a nudge
at times with a roar

But never a reply
From the unfeeling shore;
The lonely lover’s paradise
Isn’t a place you want to go

The stars they twinkle
Through the night
Yet the world glows
under moonlight

All night they glow’
A beauty no-one beholds;
Lonely lover’s paradise
Isn’t a place you want to go

A snow flake falls
From heaven above
And quietly melts
Never admired

And of its beauty
winter will never know ;
Lonely lovers paradise
Isn’t a place you want to go

I am

I am amazing
I am special
I am loveable
And I do not need him
To tell me this
I am extraordinary
I am intelligent
I am beautiful
And I do not need his
Confirmation of this
I will forget him
I will move on
And I will be happy
And I do not need him
To define my happiness

Illegitimate Love

Winter winds are cold and harsh
Against my cheeks and lips
Autumn fades its grey and dark
Waiting for a white snow kiss
The poetry, it stumbles out
Against my failing will
Reminding me of autumn warmth
And that I love you still

If you could see the calamity
That tumbles around inside
You would surely run from me
You would surely hide
The trees they stand
Like stranded brides
The cold has stripped them bare
And i can hear their wailing cries
For a love that was never there

And my tears are stifled
And my cries are muffled
For I worry that you’d find out
That I’m in a world of pain
For a love that’s not allowed

Going Insane

When I’m around you
I’m at a loss for words
Because when I see you
Oh, It still hurts

When you are near me
My heart beats fast
Hoping you will touch me
Like you did last

When you talk with her
And i see you smile
Oh, my heart breaks
A thousand times

I still love you
With all your flaws
My heart is crushed
Oh, I’ve fallen hard

And every single breath
Is a dying gasp
under this dead weight
Inside my heart

I wish you would
Look at me again
Without your love
I’m going insane

Grieving Alone

Living a lie
Never felt so better
Till i lived a lie with you
A fantasy
Never seemed so real
Till i fantasized you

My heart feels heavy
I want to put it down
My head feels muddled
Thoughts spin around
And i wonder,
how you have the power
To smile and carry on
I too want to go on

It’s not like i
Want to feel this way
I would smile in an instant
If there was a way
But theres a weight in my heart
That burdens me
Everytime i see your face

You are free
To go wherever
You are free
To be whatever
But i am caged right here
I am lost in here

So go along now
Let me greive alone
Run along now
Let me cry alone
For I grieve as genuinely as I love
And I need to be right here
Alone in my grief right here