Promises – Memories of abortion (6 years later)

God promised me a baby
One meant just for me
He promised me two tiny hands
two eyes, a smile and feet

well I guess He broke that promise
Or maybe He forgot
because it’s been six years now
Since my baby’s loss

I’ve been told
It’s been too long
Time to forget
time to move on
In my ways, indeed, I have

But my heart betrays
My strength is frail
and I write again
of promises broken
Those that were unspoken

The ones broken
by me and God

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Could you be my genuine love?

Morning mists
fade with the sun
And I see you smile
The world lights up
With a million rays that
even sunlight could not hide

Like dew drops sprinkled
On flower petals
You are crystal clear
those dew drops shine
in random patterns
On all that you hold dear

You make me believe in love
make me believe I can
You make me believe in a world
Where I’m better than who I am

I want to hold the warmth of you
In my hands for life
I want to feel your breath on me
It is the breath of life
But as it is, you and me
we’ll never share that life

So could you be the love
That I will always have
Could you be that special man
Could you be my friend
and be mine for life…
could you be my genuine love?

The Duet

Dancing through the warriors
Dodging swords and enemies
The contending duellers
Were destined to meet
With a sidestep and a swerve
Silver swords collide
And between the kissing steel
We collide with our eyes
Time stops for a moment
It’s only you and I
We balance on a knife edge
Just our swords and our eyes
Will you make the first move?
Or will I?
One has to stab the other
And watch them slowly die

A Million Moments (Without Me)

The winds that blow
That give you an angel’s kiss
The pure white snow
That falls on your finger tips

The warmth you feel
stepping from the cold to the sun
The comfort you feel
Waking to the cooking of your mum

The way your heart soars
When birds sing at the window
The cool you feel when
Stepping from the sun to the shadow

I wish you a million moments
Like this in your life and more
And i cannot feel them with you
Because you deserve so much more

You deserve to be awed by love
Like a child beholding the sea
I want you to fear to touch it
Should it burst like a bubble in the wind

And when you hold it for the first time
ever so preciously
I want it to fall to place in your heart
Like a feather so gently

And raising waves of emotions
Like a soft storm hitting the sea
It should leave you breathless,
Your heart and mind at peace

These moments of happiness
You will never feel with me
So hug me one last time
and bid goodbye to me

Different

In the crowded diner
Amid the joy and cheer
I feel ever so distant
I don’t belong here
They sway to the music
As if it is indeed
Remedy to heart’s troubles
Like music is peace
Some shake with laughter
Others wine and dine
I sit in a corner
Away from the lime light

The lights cast shadows
Across my troubled face
And so nobody sees me
In an isolated place

On a wall of ordered bricks
I’m the one poking out
When everyone goes silent
I’m the one who shouts
When everyone is hugging
I’m the one shaking hands
When the world is walking straight
I’m the lonely crab

Definition of Love

You are the wind
Playing with my hair
You are the clouds
Up in the air
You are the calm
and peaceful night
The dew vanishing
with the light

My ever present
Too far to touch
My never present, yet
too close for comfort
My all evasive
yet always close
Ephemeral love
My perfect love

I want to enjoy you
But then I want you
and when I want you
I can never have you
I want to define you
What I feel for you

You are my definition of love
The evasive presence of love

Fireworks

Oh my God

Look at that smile

My heart sings

When his eyes smile

I’m blown away

By his eyes

I drown in the chocolate

Depths of his eyes

His makes me trip

Over my own feet

I get drunk on his scent

He makes me shiver at the knees

What a man!

Oh, what perfection

My blissful high

Forbidden addiction

I want to pull him to me

Hip to hip

And feel his breath on me

Lip to lip

And my heart thunders

Ready to burst

He will never know

Of the fireworks

Lonely Lovers Paradise

The waves they play
against the shore
At times with a nudge
at times with a roar

But never a reply
From the unfeeling shore;
The lonely lover’s paradise
Isn’t a place you want to go

The stars they twinkle
Through the night
Yet the world glows
under moonlight

All night they glow’
A beauty no-one beholds;
Lonely lover’s paradise
Isn’t a place you want to go

A snow flake falls
From heaven above
And quietly melts
Never admired

And of its beauty
winter will never know ;
Lonely lovers paradise
Isn’t a place you want to go

I am

I am amazing
I am special
I am loveable
And I do not need him
To tell me this
I am extraordinary
I am intelligent
I am beautiful
And I do not need his
Confirmation of this
I will forget him
I will move on
And I will be happy
And I do not need him
To define my happiness